BDSM 101: Know Your Limits
I smirk as I ask the man sipping my golden latte in a busy coffee shop, "So what are you into?"
"I'm into pretty much everything" he responds with a smile.
SIGH. I used to get excited when I got this answer, now I just feel irritated. I've come to identify this response as the hallmark of the under-prepared novice.
I reply, "Cool, I LOVE ballbusting".
"Oh, not sure I'm ready for that! Actually I'm not really into pain that much". he replies.
Wah. WAH. You're not into pain yet here you sit with a Sadist. You're into everything yet you won't let me kick you in the balls. You want to "lose control" yet you have a very precise idea of what you want that I'm suppose to tease out of you. That's fine, I will do that, I will cycle through fetishes you don't like and find the ones you do but this is your warning: that is a very expensive way to get your kinky needs met.
When submissive's say they like everything they generally fall into one of two camps: humiliation & surrender. People who want to be used or humiliated like the idea that I can do whatever I want to them, they will be used for my entertainment or pleasure. This is the murky water I'm talking about. That could entail me pissing on them, ignoring them, inflicting pain, teasing/edging, ruining orgasms, foot worship, needle play, making them perform domestic duties, restraining them, pegging them. The possibilities are extensive.
The second (more elusive) group are the surrenderers, they tend to be older and more experienced. They enjoy giving up control, the element of surprise, the meditative qualities of surrender. I can cycle through fetishes with these submissives and they truly enjoy pleasing me, they may even enjoy doing things they don't like because it brings me joy. I, in turn, reward them with their favourite kinks. This is where rich, back & forth, BDSM relationships thrive, this is a proper power exchange.
I don't require you to be into everything - far from it! I want you to enjoy yourself & I want to indulge in a shared kink with you. Don't hand me the reigns then try to take them back. For a Domme, there's no bigger disappointment. Do your research, set your boundaries and come to me prepared. Think about what kind of fantasy you have mapped out in your mind, then deconstruct it to the point where you know what your kinks are. Think about what kind of FemDom porn you watch, what are the themes?
My list of kinks are here. I'm open to other ideas, just ask. Outside of session is when we communicate openly about our boundaries. Once we're in session, you hand total control over to me. You have two tools to work with: your safewords & ability to trust, I'll take care of the rest. I'm offering something really beautiful if you'll let yourself accept it.