BASTIENNE CROSS | TORONTO DOMINATRIX
Finding a compatible Dominatrix is an important, exciting experience. There are many components to a successful scene and, hopefully, a successful, long lasting D/s dynamic. When you seek a Dominatrix, you are essentially seeking a particular feeling. First, you must articulate what feeling you're seeking, then you must find the woman you believe can elicit that experience. Most of this is psychological, the work you do before a scene is almost as important as the scene itself. The visual of your Domme, the words she presents, the setting you meet her in and the anticipation are almost comparable to the activities you choose to perform during the session. I have opened the door to clients who had worked themselves half into SubSpace prior to even meeting me. The excitement of an eager submissive, shaking from arousal and anticipation is a beautiful starting point for a scene and generally bodes well for the tone you're creating together in your particular D/s dynamic.
Established Toronto Dominatrix, Mistress Mindy, has distilled the process of finding a Domme into 3 steps. Read her article here.
If you think I might suit your submissive needs, my website pages are listed in approximate order of what is most relevant to a new client. On my homepage I've listed my 10 step process for submission in order of importance. Follow these steps and soon you'll be at my feet shaking is delight. Enjoy perusing my site & thank you for reading!
I've toyed with my booking procedure enough to know exactly what works for me, yields the best scenes & attracts the best clients. I'm an introvert, I value my alone time very highly and need to plan ahead in order to assure I get enough of it. When I host sessions,I give it my all, before, during & after. I pride myself on investing my full energy into creating scenes that excite me while also enveloping the kinks of my guest. It's a creative process, one that I find challenging and invigorating.
I would make more money if I offered same day bookings but I don't want more money, I want great scenes. This is an important distinction I made through trial & error. My experiences have informed my booking process and the one I use currently has served me well.
Treat my booking process the same way you would any other professional service. If you attempt to exempt yourself from any of my requirements, I'll assume you're not a respectful person in general and wish you the best before moving on. Advising me of your very busy schedule or your successful entrepreneurship which precludes you from booking ahead serves two important functions, it tells me that:
A) You lack respect for MY business.
B) You're deceptive.
So having a busy schedule or owning a business truly prevents you from booking appointments in advance? Cool. Let me see your calendar. Are all the days empty besides today? Didn't think so. This would mean you never make it to the dentist, you're not capable of planning business meetings ahead of time, you're not able to make it to people's birthdays or plan vacations. What a sad, erratic existence.
The fact is, if something is important, you make time for it. If it's not that important or something you'd like to fit in at the last minute if you've got free time, I get it but that means we're not compatible. I plan ahead, I show up, I give it my all, please do the same.
When prepping for a pegging scene, my best advice is to listen to your body. You know your body best, if you feel a little "full" than you probably are. Use an enema bulb, I prefer this one, flush yourself out a couple times until the water is essentially clear. That's it. Getting a feel for your body and giving yourself a few flushes is what I recommend. For more detailed instructions, refer to the illustration below.
I smirk as I ask the man sipping my golden latte in a busy coffee shop, "So what are you into?"
"I'm into pretty much everything" he responds with a smile.
SIGH. I used to get excited when I got this answer, now I just feel irritated. I've come to identify this response as the hallmark of the under-prepared novice.
I reply, "Cool, I LOVE ballbusting".
"Oh, not sure I'm ready for that! Actually I'm not really into pain that much". he replies.
Wah. WAH. You're not into pain yet here you sit with a Sadist. You're into everything yet you won't let me kick you in the balls. You want to "lose control" yet you have a very precise idea of what you want that I'm suppose to tease out of you. That's fine, I will do that, I will cycle through fetishes you don't like and find the ones you do but this is your warning: that is a very expensive way to get your kinky needs met.
When submissive's say they like everything they generally fall into one of two camps: humiliation & surrender. People who want to be used or humiliated like the idea that I can do whatever I want to them, they will be used for my entertainment or pleasure. This is the murky water I'm talking about. That could entail me pissing on them, ignoring them, inflicting pain, teasing/edging, ruining orgasms, foot worship, needle play, making them perform domestic duties, restraining them, pegging them. The possibilities are extensive.
The second (more elusive) group are the surrenderers, they tend to be older and more experienced. They enjoy giving up control, the element of surprise, the meditative qualities of surrender. I can cycle through fetishes with these submissives and they truly enjoy pleasing me, they may even enjoy doing things they don't like because it brings me joy. I, in turn, reward them with their favourite kinks. This is where rich, back & forth, BDSM relationships thrive, this is a proper power exchange.
I don't require you to be into everything - far from it! I want you to enjoy yourself & I want to indulge in a shared kink with you. Don't hand me the reigns then try to take them back. For a Domme, there's no bigger disappointment. Do your research, set your boundaries and come to me prepared. Think about what kind of fantasy you have mapped out in your mind, then deconstruct it to the point where you know what your kinks are. Think about what kind of FemDom porn you watch, what are the themes?
My list of kinks are here. I'm open to other ideas, just ask. Outside of session is when we communicate openly about our boundaries. Once we're in session, you hand total control over to me. You have two tools to work with: your safewords & ability to trust, I'll take care of the rest. I'm offering something really beautiful if you'll let yourself accept it.
Lovely, little sadist living in Toronto, Ontario. This is my journal, where my brain gets to play.